Thursday, February 02, 2006

Korean-American Bowl XXXL

After reading stories about Hines Ward and Sonya Thomas, I have the ultimate challenge for them both. How about we bring them over and challenge them to see who is the first to eat 26 sandwiches, run 100 yards, only to get feild tackled at the end by say Brian Urlacher (for no reason other than I am a Bear's fan). The trick is you have to keep the sandwiches down. You toss your cookies, you toss your chances.

A look at the competitors:

Ms. Thomas:

Her Selected Best Stats

Cheesecake: 11 pounds in 9 minutes

Chicken Wings: 167 wings in 32 minutes

Eggs: 65 hard boiled eggs in 40 seconds

Lobster: 44 pounds in 12 minutes

Tacos: 48 chicken soft tacos in 11 minutes

Mr. Ward

Selected Career Stats

Yards per game: 55.4

Longest Catch: 85

Average Yards After Catch: 4.3

Touch Downs: 52

Fumbles: 6


At first Ward would be considered the favorite. A six foot, 215 lbs., football player not only has the moves, but is likely used to large meals to keep up his playing weight and metabolism. Meanwhile Sonya is pushing 40, and based on the stats you click to above you can see she lost a step from her youth comparing between her earlier "Turducken" win and the recent "Turkey" win. However Ms. Thomas cannot be immedatly discounted. Her slight 100 lbs. frame may prove to be too elusive a target for Urlacher to effectively tackle. And if she does go down, since she is used to eating so much and keeping it down, the event that Ward will do the technicolor yawn cannot be discounted.

Opening Line: Ward by pickle

Finally for good measure, we will have Chan-ho Park choking on the sidelines.


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