Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Are you a real American?

Marmot's uncovering of Finnish authorities asking questions to separate "real" Koreans from the rabble is funny. I am reminded when I registered the birth of my daughter at the US Embassy and they asked me to prove I lived in the US for five years. All I could offer was "Er I like Hot Dogs? The Mets won the World Series in '68?"

I was looking at some of the questions provided by the Chosun in the article. Can you imagine the questions being put into a US context, and how many Americans would be stymied at the Finnish border:

Finn: What is America's second largest city?

American: Ummm...by population or area? Are we counting City or Metropolitan Area? Well does not matter, I don't know.

F: Write the name of the President of the United States.

A: There!

F: I am sorry Al Gore is not president.

A: That blank sheet of paper you asked me to write on is confusing!  I demand a recount you right wing ideologue!

F: Where is Mt. McKinley?

A: Oh I know this one! I went there as a kid...umm...its the one with the Presidents on it. You know, Washington, Ben Franklin, Kennedy, and what's his face. Arizona!

F: What sport does Shaq play?

A: Sorry, I don't listen to rap.

F: You have proven yourself ignorant of all aspects of American geography, history, and culture, you must be an American! Welcome to Finland!

This all reminds me of a funny line of thought I had the other day, we have funny threatening questions in America. Lines in other places that are totally innocuous in most parts of the world carry some frighteningly hostile intentions. I ask you, which line is more threatening to an American:

1. You mind if I look around the car sir?
2. Do you think your better than me?
3. Do you think your country?
4. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?


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